


Pshaw

by jaegermighty



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 19:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4678337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaegermighty/pseuds/jaegermighty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now Amy, Amy is good people, unlike her dirty rotten husband, who’s a good for nothin’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pshaw

**Author's Note:**

> just a quick one. tumblr prompt "single parents meeting while picking up their kids au" ... or something like that. technically this is meant to be steve/danny but also, it isn't, so.

So, listen, there’s this guy at Grace’s school, and he’s an asshole. Danny acknowledges that he’s got a bit of a temper and tends to overreact to small irritations, he’s in therapy, he knows it’s a flaw, but honestly, this guy in particular is just an asshole, and that’s a fact. Danny is not _overreacting_ to a grown-ass man who hijacks other people’s parent-teacher conferences because his time is apparently that much more valuable than anyone else’s, as if Danny doesn’t have six of his officers fighting over two different cases, a wave of recruits fresh out of the Academy to sort out and a pile of bullshit custody paperwork from Rachel’s lawyer to deal with. As if a hotshot Navy Ranger or whatever they’re called, Danny certainly hasn’t looked it up, just deserves to cut in line because his kid’s crayolas aren’t sharp enough or whatever the fuck he was angry about – Jesus, they’re in fourth grade, like, Christ. Danny understands the impulse to micromanage your child’s education because your kid is perfect and it feels like elephants stomping on your heart whenever they’re disappointed about anything, but again: Danny is in therapy. That’s an unrealistic standard to live up to, and eventually kids have to realize that sometimes crayons break, you know? They’re ten, is Danny’s point. They’ll get over it. 

Whatever. Danny only glared a little bit and said just one comment that was barely even _sarcastic –_ considering the relative extreme fucking rudeness of a guy barging into a private meeting and commandeering the teacher’s attention, Danny was downright fucking polite, so the attitude he got from the guy in the parking lot was uncalled for. Figures he’d drive one of those gigantic pickups; probably overcompensating. Not that Danny thinks about that kind of thing, in relation to tall rude military men with tattoos and an entitlement complex the size of Manhattan, just. His biceps are huge; he’s probably on steroids or something. _Pshaw,_ Danny thinks. Figures.

Danny will receive no sympathy from Meka on this issue because Meka lives to give Danny grief, which is why he tells Amy instead – now Amy, Amy is good people, unlike her dirty rotten husband, who’s a good for nothin’. Amy makes outraged noises when he describes the hijacking of his conference and whips out her iPad with a perturbed frown and says, “holy shit, Danny, he’s that guy! That guy from the news! Oh, I knew he seemed like a dick.”

“What guy from the news,” Danny says, distracted by the process of trying to keep one eye on the kids without making it obvious to the kids that they’ve got eyes on them. Billy seems to be teaching Gracie how to hock a loogie, which is just great. Rachel’s gonna love that.

“You know, the Navy guy who arrested the governor,” Amy says, and Danny snaps to attention. “Oh, retired Navy, I guess.”

“Can’t be too retired if he’s running around arresting governors,” Danny grouses, but he’s disgruntled about this, okay, because Jameson was dirty, everyone with eyes fucking knew it, and more often than not it was his people, his cops, that got the raw end of that deal, and it’s hard not to be grateful. Maybe it was a fluke. Lucky break or something. What kind of Navy Ranger investigates governors anyway, what the fuck. “What’s his name?”

“McGarrett,” Amy says. She flips her tablet around to flash a picture in Danny’s face – yes, okay, thank you, Danny knows what the guy looks like – and rolls her eyes dramatically. “Says here the new governor just put him on Chin Ho Kelly’s task force. Yeah, that’ll go over well.”

Danny groans; Chin Ho Kelly is a good guy with good taste in beer but he’s a menace of a police officer – like, in a good way, Danny wants to be clear that he has no problem with cops who have closure rates in the 90th percentile – but, you know. Destruction, mayhem, explosions, et cetera. Last month Danny spent two hours on the phone with a Mrs. Pukui, mother to Officer Pukui, reassuring her that no, that business in Makiki is over and done with, Konani was at least ten blocks away from that explosion, and absolutely not, he will not be assisting Lieutenant Kelly on any “routine interviews” ever again. Also, that cousin of his keeps offering to teach Grace how to surf. As _if_.

It’d be just Danny’s luck for his entitled tattoo steroid Ranger to start showing up at work, too, like Danny doesn’t have enough headaches to deal with. If he could go back in time and punch himself for taking that promotion he would; it’s real fucking overrated. Even if he does get better dental now. 

“Okay, this is depressing, Amy, please,” Danny says, “next you’re gonna tell me he’s moving in next door to me or something, shit.”

Amy gives their little shared backyard a cursory look, as if checking the bushes for any stray military officers left lying around. “In this neighborhood? Not even, brah. He’ll be someplace fancy with that fancy job.”

“What are you sayin’, huh, this ain’t fancy enough for you?” Danny asks, thrusting his arms out at their yard and affecting just enough outrage to make Amy laugh in delight, like she always does when he really gets going. This is why Amy is good people. “You wanna live the high life, huh, move out to Kahala, maybe, one of those big ass places on the beach – ”

“Yeah,” Amy says, laughing, “we’re gonna take that place next door to your ex-wife’s. It’s on the market, yeah?”

“That is not even a little bit funny,” Danny says sternly, which does nothing to make Amy stop laughing. Well – she and Meka both are good for nothin’s sometimes, but Danny’s a forgiving sort of guy. He can overlook a few things.

“Just playin’, Danny. Look, you probably won’t see this guy again anyway, he doesn’t seem like the type to buddy up to us _common_ folk,” Amy says, rolling her eyes. “Military types are like that. Think they’re God’s gift, you know? Worse than cops.”

“You do realize that you’re married to a cop, right?”

“Wait, what,” Amy says, widening her eyes in fake shock, “Meka told me he worked at Safeway!”

“You’re the worst,” Danny says, by which he really means you’re the best, of course, but Amy knows that. She’s good people.

(McGarrett the steroid Ranger is too, though Danny won’t figure this out until like six months, a fender bender and a knockdown dragout playground fistfight between Grace and Lani McGarrett later. Danny will laugh about it someday, or so people tell him, but tell that to Grace and Lani, who will spend the rest of their adolescences angrily plotting each other’s fiery demises, yet still inexplicably want to spend every single spare minute together at the same time. “It’s a girl thing I think,” Steve will say, with the long-suffering air of a single father raising a daughter whose favorite after school extracurricular is “homemade fireworks.” Danny definitely laughs about that, because Grace decides she wants to join the Navy when she grows up, and it’s fucking _Steve’s_ fault, so Danny’s gonna take what relief he can get, alright.)


End file.
